Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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