dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
