When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
