Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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