I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
