Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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