She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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