I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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