ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
