She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
