before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
