Need sex. Gaining weight.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
whose ass print is on the piano?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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