They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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