you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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