i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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