i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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