I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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