At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
