My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
