Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
