They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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