and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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