Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
