I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
