i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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