i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
