Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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