Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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