I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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