i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
