You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
