His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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