My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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