I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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