its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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