Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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