Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
