can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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