My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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