we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
