I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
