ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
