Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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