Who wears a wallet chain?!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
