Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
