ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
