When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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