That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
