chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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