I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize