I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
