If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
